♥ ` BIKINI BOTTOM !

Sunday, July 5, 2009 3:41 PM

Just killing time until 6pm (:
-AZURE

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New Planet Found!

Astronauts have discovered a new planet 5 million km away from mars! This planet has a bluish glow and is roughly the same size of earth. People are naming it Azuriie, after the great AZURE. Scientists have also confirmed that there is LIFE on the planet! This is a great discovery! Once we destroy whatever life is there with plasma tanks and bio-bombs, we can commence the great migration, where every single human being on this world will migrate to Azuriie.
Except for all the gays. They can stay and rot.

The properties of the species that are living on Azuriie are going to be revealed soon, so keep your eyes peeled. For now we will continue on the planet itself.

This is the story.

Famous astronaut Swudiwudipudipong and his crew were in a spaceship travelling around and drinking tiger beer, when suddenly it gets as cold as hell. Swudiwudipudipong removes the blinds and looks out to see the strange planet looming before him, blocking out the sun's rays. Everyone shouted, "Wow! Wtf! It's a new planet! We shall name it Azuriie! It's 5 million km away from Mars!"

Unfortunately everyone froze before they could make the journey. But the radio was on, and the people down on earth heard everything. They made a special spaceship with super-heaters, and managed to land safely on Azuriie. It was as cold as dark as the moon, but there was water, trees and small insects! The leader jumped for joy at this discovery, but he soon found out that the gravity on this planet is like that in CS. When you jump, you go high as shit. Everyone was almost 54 times lighter than they usually were. The leader jumped for joy and he floated up slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly. His crew members watched him go up with binoculars.

The leader kept going up until he hit the planet's atmosphere. Now, Azuriie's atmosphere is different from earth's. It is like a glass wall. The leader hit his head against the atmosphere and his blood spewed everywhere like a grotesque christmas decoration. The crew members laughed with joy and continued their journey into this strange planet. Several of them accidently jumped and died the same way, but 2 astronauts survived, and their story is extremely exciting.

Catch it on the next Bikini.Bottom.News TONIGHT!